Hidden Pages

I want a book that is uncoloured that has marks in it, That has lived more than one life,

worn and tared that is hoping that somewhere whoever Picks it up will understand,

It doesn’t matter how many tears are in them it doesn’t matter how many hands have stroked through them,

What it is I want, What it is I crave, You either  love it unconditionally or you don’t love it at all,

The Black Ocean,

Some of us struggle with life and were not ready for heart aches even tho life brings them are way,

As sadness rains with hopeless thoughts
Its all a test tho to see how we handle situations brought forward to us,

Are we strong enough to over come them, we all can put up a front some follow a script not written by them selfs,

They follow what others think is best, I can’t follow anybody I only can follow what I actually feel,

I use to feel like a captain who lost his ship in the black ocean swimming for dear life,

My tears were more Saltly then the oceans salty sea, I couldn’t get my head around the situation that bared forth in me,

Which lead me to put full blame on myself I was my own traumatised Victim and continued to drown in my own flooded tears,

After a while being in the sea all alone and cold barely able to breath and drinking my sorrows away,

I slipped into a black hole nothing but darkness no crashing waves, This was the only  time I had peace other then when I’m asleep,

My eyes opened I was drifted somewhere far far away in my mind still alone something struck me tho,

out of the water, out of my dealts, out of my blames, out of the victim, out of the pain, and mostly out of torturing myself,

For the very first time in a while I was happy I accepted it for what it was, My ship broke I still have my working hands tho,

The darkness of the black ocean is a place we often visit after suffering from heart ache,

Everyone explodes differently, Some she’d no tears, while the rest of us drown in are own salty tears,

Whispers and screams pull at each thred of our heart strings as it feels that this is the only person your ever share your love with,

That love that can’t be bought or sold, Those kisses that made chills run down your curved spines with Tingles and smiles,

They asked and you Ran, They cried and you gave your shoulder, They were I’ll and you made them feel better,

They were hopeless and you picked them back up, they were uncertain and you showed them the way, now your alone and you have to find your own way,

The black ocean many are still stuck here twisting thoughts with ifs and buts looking at every angle it doesn’t matter tho,

Because it always comes back to the same pattern, It ended but not forgotten still remains close to your punctured heart,

For now as time heals we don’t have much time so stop dweling on endless paths dwel on a knew foundation of a knew found love,

Don’t rush for Love let it find you not everyone you meet is true they could just be a stepping stone to share hope and wisdom with,

As you progress through a new chapter that you can form and feel brand new again,

3am

Why does Love have such a hold over us,
If you allow it it can make us powerless,

How can such a nice thing bleed us dry,
Suck every ounce that use to be pure,

That had a true meaning which we lived for,
As you part you can take the battle scars,

I layed and closed my eyes and saw darkness Rip through my mind, it came with waves,

It came with hate, As Sadness rained, I walked around like a lost soul which couldn’t find it’s  home,

couldn’t shut off wouldnt shut off, Just like a broken tap as it dripped with bare emotions,

It took it all away in the end, I became who I am now, as I sit and glow I remember how weak I use to be,

I will never loose myself, I will never throw all my cards on the table, Yet I will never fold,

Love will never take control and I she’ll never fully submit,

Be free

Time is of the essence where minds got to be strong, Winds blowing on the front porches with distance helding on,

Crashing rocks each mornings as cold air fills your lungs,

Laying on the dirt soaking up the tide as minds collapse of the wrongs that puts out the cries,

Corners of thy lips edges of once kissed places that meant something, now becomes extinct,

Leaving in its mourn blurred visions as feelings become no more,

hearts will spasm where hearts cannot deny, Whistles humming as they rise upon a lie,

Figures catching eyes spirits catching on shadows of remorse bodies not incline,

Smiles of joy as you part seperate ways, giving up the drama,

As you spread your wings, Now you’re free to fly, With no more headaches which comes with zero regrets,

Fate,

I don’t know what I’m exactly feeling but I do know I want it all I want the quite nights in with hugs and kisses,

I also want that type of adventure with her at a drop of a hat nothing as scary as indain Jones,

When I find my Queen she will know as when I look into her eyes I’ll be hypnotized with just my eyes,

I love it how a woman looks at you when she’s in love with you it’s bittersweet and for that moment time stops,

It’s like she’s looking at her favourite dessert not needing to lick her lips but damn I’d lick and kiss those lips,

As long as she can handle my advanced mind set thinking overly outta the box as I sit there and dream of dreams,

not done but there’s a possibility them dreams will be reality with time When I come down from cloud 9,

Just sit with me and read me as I read you a connection without touching that comfortable silence one can indulge in,

Is the only rhyme body vibrations cast out is a connection worth exploring,

Not knowing what will be as it leads up to the actual touching,

We don’t need scripts here as our bodies will do the talking and glide as one,

Love you,

I sound like an arrogant asshole how I come across to those that read my words as words and actions our of the same. Without meaning can truly be no reason to feelings, one can not really see nor feel, nor touch, neither sense of heaviness as soft as silk through thy fingers,
Each touch knows no bounds tho it flows to the same distance as hearts need to feed the illusion what most crave is to be loved,

I craved for it once lived each day for it smelt it tasted it and breathed it, living in a bubble nothing outside the bubble mattered just as long as the fire in our hearts carried the burning flame on.. Then it ended like most things do good and bad things end and new chapters always arise.

I prefer my own single new chapters now because love isn’t guaranteed and whilst it isn’t It’s just wasting what little time I have searching for the illusion…. So for me it’s not to be Loved or to Love whom  it’s to Love myself as thats the most definitely the realist thing you can ever do…

My last poem

I’ve known you for most of my life we both said forever,

Now in your presence I don’t know the person who stands in front of me,

We became strangers over time when we were lovers,

Hugs and kisses felt empty time and effort was never,

Why do we stay to see where we go it’s where we stay and stay we must not,

I’m tired of this thing that’s never going to let go it’s eaten at the flesh and now it won’t stop,

I know now see what it lays beneath me I see it from a distance,

Can’t get back what we had can’t move forward cause of the passed,

Tell me I’m lying even if you did, believing you would go against my belief,

Should I stop trying should I lay low should I stop caring,

Nope I can always stop trying I can never stop caring who am I fooling,

The mind can always be fooled my heart can never be,

I know now that you’ve made up your mind I can see it,

Blinded by the curtain veil that’s covered over your eyes,

There was a time long ago a time what we said meant something,

Words blown across without actions speaks volumes,

We started off as two Red roses that always blossomed,

Now we sit and watch it crumble into a dozen black roses,

Slowly ever so slow dying of thirst my rose petal shall now die alone,

Time

Hearing the dreadful news where my life will be heading without you,

I close off all emotion all being don’t know how to be, don’t know how to act,

Blossom smiles is what I remember when I saw you in the past,

Now it’s waterfall tears when the topic is brought up we can’t run nor hide,

Even tho you love me time will pass your begin to dislike me it’s inevitable now,

It’s suffocating both of us we won’t come to terms of the truth we know,

So we hang on to false hope through the year’s that were make it work,

As hope slips through are fingers like sand it’s hard to get a grip on what are future will be,

We always said we were unbreakable I guess everything can break in time,

Outta sight out of mind

The moment I take the time out to focus on you,
my blood quivers my hands shed sweat particles,
lungs filled with lasting excitement of the unknown,
What will be What I’ll see What maybe What could be,

Hidden to whom revels touch not by hand or by mouth,
The pressure is like an overheated hot valve pipe,
Vibrations often suffering from heartburn our daily,
So retreating is the best possible way to keep sane,
Outta sight out of mind, Outta of vibes out of time,