Wow,

Wow, Is the first word I want to say because when you go through your single period you always think you don’t want to be in the company of another woman while your going through heart ache.

Then time goes on and you begin to like that idea well for me it was like that and No I didn’t have oneitis at all because even tho I lost the love that I once knew I knew deep down that was the only way it had to end.

So for me shutting off was much easier but at the same time I just wanted to be alone and focus all my energy on myself and come out on top with a more balanced mindset.

So now I’m here now on top of everything I hold value over, Not saying I’ll be running into another relationship any time soon but I see the light at the end of the tunnel now and it’s a beautiful sight.

Leaf’s

The moment I let go is the moment I realise that letting go isn’t as bad and scary as your mind assures you that it is,

Just how a leaf breaks and falls from its roots it’s never going to land on its feet,

It may blow a few metres as my feet walk miles with the wind not mapped out on direction with no cursor,

Whichever way it lands it manages to catch each drop of water-absorbing each corner,

The endless mind is our gateway even tho most of us use the same paths to accomplish what we see as our dreams,

So the moral of this is even when the leaf broke free it still blossomed into it’s all it could be,

Loneliness kills us slow,

 

I often see a lady walk miles a day with no plan at hand, She walks the same route everyday,

As she always has a cigarette in her hand, Puffing big clouds of smoke of regret from her mouth,

She seems like a women who has the world on her shoulders, A heavy mind with no One to talk to or even turn too,

I feel sorry for her because it seems she’s punishing her self, for whatever reason not known to me,

We can only see passed the first layer of ones being with first sight, as minds always assume with unknown,

Always wearing the same clothes without one piece of clothing out of its place,

Up and down as she shimners on the path I never see her with anyone else,

I’ve been meaning to approach with a smile or just a hello, I’ll see what tomorrow brings if she passes me on my road,

3am

Why does Love have such a hold over us,
If you allow it it can make us powerless,

How can such a nice thing bleed us dry,
Suck every ounce that use to be pure,

That had a true meaning which we lived for,
As you part you can take the battle scars,

I layed and closed my eyes and saw darkness Rip through my mind, it came with waves,

It came with hate, As Sadness rained, I walked around like a lost soul which couldn’t find it’s  home,

couldn’t shut off wouldnt shut off, Just like a broken tap as it dripped with bare emotions,

It took it all away in the end, I became who I am now, as I sit and glow I remember how weak I use to be,

I will never loose myself, I will never throw all my cards on the table, Yet I will never fold,

Love will never take control and I she’ll never fully submit,

Be free

Time is of the essence where minds got to be strong, Winds blowing on the front porches with distance helding on,

Crashing rocks each mornings as cold air fills your lungs,

Laying on the dirt soaking up the tide as minds collapse of the wrongs that puts out the cries,

Corners of thy lips edges of once kissed places that meant something, now becomes extinct,

Leaving in its mourn blurred visions as feelings become no more,

hearts will spasm where hearts cannot deny, Whistles humming as they rise upon a lie,

Figures catching eyes spirits catching on shadows of remorse bodies not incline,

Smiles of joy as you part seperate ways, giving up the drama,

As you spread your wings, Now you’re free to fly, With no more headaches which comes with zero regrets,

Dating scene

The dating scene is off the rails luckily for me I’m not thirty and desperate to run back into another relationship,

Suppose I could sit there and lie to get that warm apple pie, knowing my luck I’d get the sting from the cottage cheese fling,

Because what I’m actually looking at I’m not used to, I’m old school this is new school,

Gone of the days you could bring who you was to the table, now the first question is do you drive what car do you own,

Are you successful, what’s your yearly income feels like an interview which I didn’t bring my tie too,

If you fail any of the two questions you get thrown at the back of the list, Rather that cause I’m not hanging around like a paper clip,

Everythings show and palaver, Look at me and what I’m about,

I’m trying to look it’s hard to see what you’re about through the layers of low self-esteem,

That clogs up your face with all the doubt you polish over your skin,

It’s not all bad there’s some good when you can fight through the filters of cat noses and dog leashes that hide there looks,

I’m not judging just laying facts, Laying it all out like tare mack,

I think that’s why most stay in there hated relationships they’d rather stick with what they know,

Then to climb the chambers of rejection with swiping miss matching on this repetitive flow,

Insight,

You want the truth about Who I am, Fine I’m Savage I don’t hold Nothing Back, I keep My Circles small so Small You’d barely See,

Because that’s who I am, I’m here and there I’m  laughing and Joking Then I’m out, Why Stick around For air as Air ain’t enough to keep a guy like me around,

No one said no one believed That one Day out of decades I’d finally become “Me”,  When I came they Question my ability They Question who I was and what I stood for,

Keep Questioning because Questions without answers is a mind blown affair, Mistreated like dipping Acid on skin which burns flesh seeps mucus that exposes raw flesh,

Like I Said I don’t Give a fuck I’ve all ready hit rock bottom before as actions drum me with Heat of problems, Not looking to go back down the ladder that’s why I’m constantly active,

When I am not I can be chilled tho my mind never shuts off I have to keep writing I have to finish the next chapter as feelings are closed off,

So I put pen to paper to express what I’m actually feeling as I find something being said by mouth doesn’t give it justification as how words hit each note of your minds wisdom,

I gotta keep coming in and out of this sync because my write flow can change at a minutes notice, Guess I’m some what of a story teller as my addicted audience love bait dangled from ink,

Insight,

You want the truth about Who I am, Fine I’m Savage I don’t hold Nothing Back, I keep My Circles small so Small You’d barely See,

Because that’s who I am, I’m here and there I’m  laughing and Joking Then I’m out, Why Stick around For air as Air ain’t enough to keep a guy like me around,

No one said no one believed That one Day out of decades I’d finally become “Me”,  When I came they Question my ability They Question who I was and what I stood for,

Keep Questioning because Questions without answers is a mind blown affair, Mistreated like dipping Acid on skin which burns flesh seeps mucus that exposes raw flesh,

Like I Said I don’t Give a fuck I’ve all ready hit rock bottom before as actions drum me with Heat of problems, Not looking to go back down the ladder that’s why I’m constantly active,

When I am not I can be chilled tho my mind never shuts off I have to keep writing I have to finish the next chapter as feelings are closed off,

So I put pen to paper to express what I’m actually feeling as I find something being said by mouth doesn’t give it justification as how words hit each note of your minds wisdom,

I gotta keep coming in and out of this sync because my write flow can change at a minutes notice, Guess I’m some what of a story teller as my addicted audience love bait dangled from ink,

98% Complete

I can’t  smile down on the misery road at a minutes notice flooding awakes my fold,

Storming down on its grace of its abundance  out of its place drifted from the basic of bases,

Pictures of that hits nerves race’s, Tell me I’m lying what we believe in is our truth,

It’s all lying it’s crying out loud spat in our face as we get used by their ways,

Evil is the rule of the true missions paralyzed our ways they told us it will be a better place,

Surrendering to it all is surrendering what little faith we got which is not facts it’s all written by advanced bots,

By somebody by a nobody can say they know, With only learnt rubbish that they use to distract us,

Cause they believe in false prophets false visions and mostly false selling of the cattles that is portrayed as us,

So when I look around I feel alone in such a big place everyone knows each other,

Not from face to face interactions, It’s all about fast paced hands on technology,

It’s sad and it angers me in more then one way,
Because most are about the Thirst for money with there selfish self centered ways,

Then when we advanced it wasn’t to bring people closer to there loved ones, It was to push them apart from their loved ones,

As the masses develop loss of inspiration the losses will vanish like a heatwave,

An unforgiven cycle as we slip through the rabbit hole while it gets tighter and tighter like a leash,

When I look up to the sky I can barely see the the clouds of its once morning beauty,

Lines mark the skies chris crossing, Why waste that much money on fuel if it’s nothing to worry about,

Endless effort as the particles fall 26,000 feet down and crumble our organic fruits and vegetables,

People are starving around the world and dying  of hypothermia, It’s 2019 and the poorer countries our still suffering from hunger,

But it’s fine people will say we have our supermarkets, that has fresh food at hand of one’s  choice by money paper,

Soon be a cashless society no more banks no more balances locked down we our a max Controlled society,

Not seeing the bigger picture is a clouded mind that is clouded by putting all your bets down on trust,

As it folds because you can’t have freedom of speech you can’t say what you feel anymore, Without upsetting  the rules that have been made to manipulate us,

Fate,

I don’t know what I’m exactly feeling but I do know I want it all I want the quite nights in with hugs and kisses,

I also want that type of adventure with her at a drop of a hat nothing as scary as indain Jones,

When I find my Queen she will know as when I look into her eyes I’ll be hypnotized with just my eyes,

I love it how a woman looks at you when she’s in love with you it’s bittersweet and for that moment time stops,

It’s like she’s looking at her favourite dessert not needing to lick her lips but damn I’d lick and kiss those lips,

As long as she can handle my advanced mind set thinking overly outta the box as I sit there and dream of dreams,

not done but there’s a possibility them dreams will be reality with time When I come down from cloud 9,

Just sit with me and read me as I read you a connection without touching that comfortable silence one can indulge in,

Is the only rhyme body vibrations cast out is a connection worth exploring,

Not knowing what will be as it leads up to the actual touching,

We don’t need scripts here as our bodies will do the talking and glide as one,

Love you,

I sound like an arrogant asshole how I come across to those that read my words as words and actions our of the same. Without meaning can truly be no reason to feelings, one can not really see nor feel, nor touch, neither sense of heaviness as soft as silk through thy fingers,
Each touch knows no bounds tho it flows to the same distance as hearts need to feed the illusion what most crave is to be loved,

I craved for it once lived each day for it smelt it tasted it and breathed it, living in a bubble nothing outside the bubble mattered just as long as the fire in our hearts carried the burning flame on.. Then it ended like most things do good and bad things end and new chapters always arise.

I prefer my own single new chapters now because love isn’t guaranteed and whilst it isn’t It’s just wasting what little time I have searching for the illusion…. So for me it’s not to be Loved or to Love whom  it’s to Love myself as thats the most definitely the realist thing you can ever do…

My last poem

I’ve known you for most of my life we both said forever,

Now in your presence I don’t know the person who stands in front of me,

We became strangers over time when we were lovers,

Hugs and kisses felt empty time and effort was never,

Why do we stay to see where we go it’s where we stay and stay we must not,

I’m tired of this thing that’s never going to let go it’s eaten at the flesh and now it won’t stop,

I know now see what it lays beneath me I see it from a distance,

Can’t get back what we had can’t move forward cause of the passed,

Tell me I’m lying even if you did, believing you would go against my belief,

Should I stop trying should I lay low should I stop caring,

Nope I can always stop trying I can never stop caring who am I fooling,

The mind can always be fooled my heart can never be,

I know now that you’ve made up your mind I can see it,

Blinded by the curtain veil that’s covered over your eyes,

There was a time long ago a time what we said meant something,

Words blown across without actions speaks volumes,

We started off as two Red roses that always blossomed,

Now we sit and watch it crumble into a dozen black roses,

Slowly ever so slow dying of thirst my rose petal shall now die alone,

Time

Hearing the dreadful news where my life will be heading without you,

I close off all emotion all being don’t know how to be, don’t know how to act,

Blossom smiles is what I remember when I saw you in the past,

Now it’s waterfall tears when the topic is brought up we can’t run nor hide,

Even tho you love me time will pass your begin to dislike me it’s inevitable now,

It’s suffocating both of us we won’t come to terms of the truth we know,

So we hang on to false hope through the year’s that were make it work,

As hope slips through are fingers like sand it’s hard to get a grip on what are future will be,

We always said we were unbreakable I guess everything can break in time,

Outta sight out of mind

The moment I take the time out to focus on you,
my blood quivers my hands shed sweat particles,
lungs filled with lasting excitement of the unknown,
What will be What I’ll see What maybe What could be,

Hidden to whom revels touch not by hand or by mouth,
The pressure is like an overheated hot valve pipe,
Vibrations often suffering from heartburn our daily,
So retreating is the best possible way to keep sane,
Outta sight out of mind, Outta of vibes out of time,

Baby your my shorty

Now I know your all I want,
Now I know your all I need,
Now I know your all I got,
Cause baby your my shorty,
We’re tearing down the freeway With the lights beaming all the way we’re both on a hype from the announcement I made earlier that day.

Now she’s wearing a 24ct gold diamond ring and said till death do us part we will grow old together there’s no taring us apart.

She said I always wanted you now you have the full length of my heart fuck what people say and think their views and opinions don’t affect the love we share.

It’s hard to keep my eyes focused with this thick fog on the road when the view on my left arouses me the most.

Cold air con turned on as her hair starts to sway love the smell of her scent and that lotion she puts on her body for me most days.

she whispers in my ear Do me naughty do me sticky want it rough and hard so come on baby bring it on me.

Begins to push my hand down right between her thighs while I’m flipping my hand between the manual stick and watching her do her thing.

Now I know your all I want,
Now I know your all I need,
Now I know your all I got,
Cause baby your my shorty,

She sits on my lap and pulls her skirt up thongs to the side zips me down and gets it up before inserting it into that tight honey cup.

Hearts our beating sweat is dripping I pull her hair to the right side Slipping on the gears driving down a 60 lane we almost clocked 100.

We’re grinding down the highway foots full on the gas windows start to heat up like were in are sauna as we both in the moment I slip focus for a moment.

Hit a Lorry full on as she slips through my arms she smashes through the window bits of glass spit across my face.

As I sink into that hole of regrets of no coming back my heart left with her that night.

Now I know your all I had
Now I know your all I grieve
Now I know your all I loved
Cause baby you were my shorty,

The day of the funeral was the day of all eyes on me that shot through me hateful eyes that penatrated me.

No tears rolled down my face that day was dried up from having a broken heart my skin tones brown but my shadow was white.

They all blamed me cause I was the one driving I was the one who took that risk and lost control of the steering wheel a big price to pay and a life of sin.

Looking back now I was an ultimate fool cause even tho I held you in my arms where you should of been safe was all my fault and the guilt still eats me alive till this day.

As I write the memories we shared and the good times we had time fly’s that was 5 years ago the last time I held your hand.

Dreams are recurring that wakes me up in shakes you was always my chick from the very first moment I laid eyes on you and saw your gorgeous face.

Now I know your all I want
Now I know your all I need,
Now I know your all I had,
Cause baby you were my shorty,

If there were a time machine and the rules stated it takes 20 years of my life I’d take the jump without hesitation.

Just to spend another night with you Because life in my eyes without Your shorty is a life not living at all.

I should of pulled over on the highway and never put our life’s in danger you was the life of me you were the love of my life you was the air I breathed you was the soul of me.

Now it’s time to let you go I’ll see you in the next life shorty so save a seat for me will heaven have a place for me will the almighty let me in.

By any chance your looking down on me keep me up right out of the guilt hole and standing tall and I hope one day were meet again and your forgive me.
Now I know your all I had,
Now I know your all I loved,
Now I know your all I was,
Cause baby you were my shorty,

This Is Why I Love You

You got the strength of a weight of a planet,

Even with all that pressure you still get on to do your daily tasks,

You’ve had endless tears that could extinguish a forest fire,

You got a warming heart that could melt an ice age,

You got the love of a thousand hearts all pumping out that flawless beat,

You make everyone around you feel good about themselves,

The aura which surrounds you is beautiful in many ways,

Thoughtful, Kind, Caring, Loving with a bag of positivity,

Anything you put your mind to you never fail,

If failure was a part of it you would pick it back up till you accomplished it,

 

 

Hidden Shadows

I often sit in the dark because in the dark I shut off the light,

I feel at peace with the shadows that move around,

Not knowing I know there where a bouts,

Often chills that over cross me they find comfort in me they always did,

I try to stare up in the distance mark my words when my eyes see what other’s can’t,

Mind blocked images of decades of memories which often occur,

On a daily basis to close to be of coincidences that lay by me,

Not shied away open and welcoming from the roads we walked,

Tears I cried saddened most days of my life,

Stand tall shift off the weight because negatively comes with waves of hate,

Especially when it’s emotional inflicted in one it self,

Even with all that I’m a wall solid with chambers of steel,

No title needed.

My eyes bounce off her beauty like a feather drifts in mid-air,

I looked towards her lips as one gazes towards her perky breasts,

Excuse me! She mumbles in a quite innocent tone,

She speaks only for a short few moments,

A warmth heat arose from her mouth tongue full of juice
delightful no dealt,

I can smell the menthol cigarette on her tongue as my nostrils start to flare,

My heart starts to race as each marathon starts to pump,

Of nervous of fear of disappointing myself from revealing my answer,

My confidence leaks out of me like a broken fountain with sprinkles,

I wipe my mouth and swallow throat is dry like wood chip first cut,

She smiles as each cheekbone rises higher than the other,

A set of white gleaming teeth like snow crystals appear,

I’ve been meaning to tell you,

When oceans passed as sunset set deeply in its place,

My feelings grow strong stronger each week,

We know this cannot happen so lets both enjoy each others company,

If only for one day if only for one night,

I picked up her soft hands and kissed them,

Smiled pulled her close to me we hugged until the candle burnt out,

Burnt out from the stick never from our hearts,

Some things are best just left in the dark,

 

 

It sits

I stare deeply into the core of your eyes,
There is a sunset not many get to view,
which couldn’t get any more beautiful.
For whom sits on a cloud in the sky,
Most days the sun shines so brightly,
Often tears drop and push the clouds,
to the side, not too far away in range,
I’m so proud of your determination,
even when all odds are against you,
As the storm came it didn’t take you,
When the storm left you rose up high,

Freedom

When Death moves it takes us by surprise,

Death does not talk neither does it show remorse,

If death answered Questions If death was never to be,

Everyone of us would never have regrets,

Because death is the only thing
which has a line,

Once crossed once walked on,

You actually stare it in the Face you then can truly understand,

What freedom really meant,

 

Mind Bully

Whisper of screams, he cannot deny,

The sores in his self-pity betrayed him alive,

ate at his corpse and punctured his eyes,

breath bones flesh pulled from each bite,

He close’s his eyes and lay’s down to sleep,

free from the screams of whisper he now can deny,

Her Ripple

When I look at you I see a Thousand Tears run dry indented in your skin,

A ripple in a piece of paper reminds me of a ripple in your heart,

Her fire held her tight but crushed her by his weak ice cold Sin,

The over casting screams of those pulling of her vocal strings,

Told you every day you was nothing as he raised his hands,

Often you thought they were going to be to comfort you,

Begging him to forgive her for not what she has done,

But for what he has done to her from whips to black&Blue,

No way out no one to turn to, Feeling that alone and worthless,

The fear he imprinted in you as he drained your self-control,

Around friends and on show he was your knight in armor,

Knight of life, his shadow overwhelmed everything about you,

People thought you Idolized him and the ground he walked on,

Behind closed doors, he was the devil himself a spineless cunt,

In the end, you found your strength and left him as he drowned in his guilt,

It took you Year’s to build yourself back up, on that unlonely Journey with no man in sight,

In time everyone wants companionship, I met her as an enclosed book,

Day by day I try to flatten out her Ripples, I won’t give up,

Each time I hold you and kiss your rough and crinkled lips,

I taste the essence of your life and of Those tiny particles,

The pain I taste, the fear of it building up once again,

Of your past, lived life don’t worry your with me now,

let me love you a Thousand Years from now,

A broken girls Journey

I wake up each morning with sadness and hope,

The screams are so clear
Which crawl through my being,

In one hand I have freedom
In the other I have pain,

No one can understand Me
As they try to comfort me,

Most days I feel alone
Most days I am alone,

This is the only way I
Can function,

Only
Way I can live for me now,

I hope and I pray I wake up to live another day, And cure me of this Disease,

Which is trapped and lodged into Me,

Ive woken and now I’m back
not Alone and not in Pain,

Almost losing her

As we laid I held her and felt
her warmth slip through my fingers,

Watched her pink soft cheeks absorb turn to an uncoloured being,

The worst feeling is knowing you can’t do anything
to bring your loved one back to me to us,

She continued passing out, trying her hardest to not let go,
I couldn’t let go I wouldn’t let go,

She wasn’t the person who laid in front of me, Not one ounce of emotion was set on her face nor one tear rolled down her face,

As she just looked straight through me, This broke me as I crumbled inside,

The outside of my figure stood up tall as the heaviness weighed me down more,

After having a life-saving operation due to internal bleeding and losing 3ltrs of blood,

She was a fighter and that’s what saved her as well as the prayers we pleaded and begged for,

[]Thank you to the one who watches over us, and answered our calls in the time we needed you most[]

Realize!

When you see death up close and personal,

You just realize how much in life you take for granted,

at any given time your life can slip through your fingertips,

Without a Warning and lose everything you ever Loved,

I know

I know what I see when I look at you

the mirror is reflecting double images,

one who is of the same and the other who’s changed,

The word of love inked in time, not blood,

some of us live a life to be loved,

whilst others fuck up the good of being loved,

others run from love because it’s too easy to fall in love,

being hurt isn’t easy to mend a broken heart of love,

Programmed 2OBEY

Some may think my poetry comes off as confusing or deep and they feel like they need to get out a pen and censor parts of it,

Others may not want to put the time into reading this,

Because when you look to read it it’s in your face and not in your consciousness where everything that cost money is placed,

Now if this poem had flicking lights or circles with that flash and audio I guarantee you’d be in that trance sharing this quicker then you can say this is deep,

What really comes off as deep in our day and age cause as far as I can see the limits are endless and constantly projected for the addicted eyes shut audience,

Everything is now available which lays on any platform,

The amount of hands that were tied before is now running wild while trying to grab the forbidden fruit cause apparently, it’s allowed now,

The system loves a crowd of submissive I’m not talking about the 50without the gray kinda shade sheep,

They keep pulling those strings feeding you and misleading you to come down a peg or two your never be on the same ledge or level as them even if your rich,

By showing you a list of things they imprinted in your subconscious,

Throughout the day by next week everyone wearing the same most lost their identity without even knowing what a shame,

Their best trick yet is sending signals to your brain through that wizard sequence,

That one which puts your brain in overdrive and sometimes makes people commit suicide,

People thought slavery was over tell that to people working 9-5 for a lousy wage,

They think we should be grateful when they up pay 1% then up there’s 97% while putting up taxes taking your 1% and then us owing them 2%,

Do you ever wake up drained like the whole world is on your shoulders with that traumatizing pain,

When will people wake up stop thinking does my hair and appearance look good just before and after posting selfies of their looks,

Am I the only one who wants these chains removed,

I heard these young ones are fearless and born with the eye and hearts of lions,

Its a shame that money has a way of corrupting those that have gained power,

That acceptance people are now living for reminds me of a virus, not man made which got planted in the system you know the one we live in now it’s all about me myself and I which went viral,

Remember if you’re not moving the same way they do they label you as an outsider cause I’m not hypnotized with my eyes shut these eyes are wide open seeing that pattern evolving and where were heading,

I’m hoping there’s some awoke people still out there and know what I mean when I say WakeupoutofthatDream….

How to train a person 2OBEY

Sit them in front of a TV,

They become addicted,

Can never miss a programme,

They begin to worship,

These people think they know them,

You cant   say nothing bad about them,

Start changing there appearance,

Because the TV told them,

Mind games

Now You’ve grabbed my attention and all for the wrong Reasons, You ain’t gotta Justify To me or To Nobody,

But Your sitting there watching me from a far distance and those beady eyes our they even your eyes,

How do you brake down a shell which is closed off, How do you begin to reach out and say Hi, When there no where in sight,

I’m some what of a introvert I use to be a martyrdom, This was before tho when I was caught up in feelings now I’ve unpinned from the vicious cycle,

I feel like I’m in a middle of a connect four game, Who’s turn is it?  Sure I took my turn but you will sit there and gulp instead,

One of the reason’s I’m happy staying single is Because of the board game with to many pieces scattered out of place,

I don’t play Board games tho as that’s to much time and energy, but if I put my mind to it no doubt I’ll be champion 😉